Yesterday I felt like I could no longer hold onto things, creating a metaphorical heap of useless attitudes and beliefs at my feet. It had been coming for a long time, signaled by a nagging sense that I was more and more out of phase with not just the world, but with who I used to be in the world. Where I’d previously found meaning, now there were only thin echoes, despite any attempts at revival or enthusiasm.
In coming to this realization a bit late in the process, it seems that I’ve awoken to find myself already mostly through the ‘sadness’ parts of this. Indeed, yesterday, I found myself rather light and excited about the possibilities of newness and virgin soil, as it were. Yes, it IS the end of the year. And yes, the new one is right on its heels. This time, it feels relevant in a more concrete way than it has in recent years past.