It’s really weird how circumstances in the NOW can trigger feelings and attitudes from way back THEN. For instance, I just caught on that in the late afternoons I start to feel uneasy – this is remembrance of knowing that my mother was going to be coming home soon and that I probably hadn’t done the things on “THE LIST” – instead I’d usually snacked and watched tv and talked on the phone – pretty typical kid stuff.
I certainly don’t need to hang onto this reaction anymore. Just a little brain retraining will do well, I think… replacing the guilty ‘Surely I’ve done something wrong’ with the smarter ‘I’m spending my time perfectly FINE today!’ Ahhh, yes – much better. Rinse and repeat.