If you want to ‘direct’ something a certain way in your life you have to ‘encompass’ it. That’s what the phrase “being on top of things” means to me. You’re aren’t encompassing something if you’re fighting or battling with it. It’s a state of mind, not necessarily any ‘action’ you take. You don’t already have to know anything about HOW to direct something, you just allow yourself to become/encompass what you want and then the knowing will be there.
When I first started playing with watercolor painting many years ago, I put three small, quick abstract paintings in my office to brighten things up. They were my first tries at using watercolors. When someone came by and asked me if I would do commissioned ‘realistic’ paintings, I said yes. At the time I had no idea how to do realistic watercolors, but I had confidence that I could figure it out as I went. Of course, I never told the purchaser that I’d never done them before or didn’t yet know how. It was a little scary, but it paid off, literally too – LOL. In those moments I BECAME a realistic watercolor painter – I suppose this is also what I take as the meaning of ‘fake it til you make it.’
My thinking at the moment is that if you want to get on top of something that you’ve struggled with, let it go and encompass it. Become the person that DOES ‘control’ or ‘direct’ this part of your life, instead of being the person that struggles with it. Like the mindset of being an owner/manager rather than an employee (not that either is better or worse, mind you). It’s a new identify. Life isn’t what you make it, it’s who YOU are. [Opinion on what life is or isn’t subject to change.]